Friday, June 26, 2015

Ten years ago...

Have you ever woke up in the morning an pondered what your life was like ten years ago?  
Well, there is the stark realization that ten years ago I was 18… a freshly graduated high school senior… and about to start college.
But there is more, I can remember ten years ago today. Because is this a day and a date of an experience I will never forget.
There are days like this through out the year… I generally don't forget my birthday or our anniversary.  However, unlike those days this day brings back some of the most difficult memories of my life.  But I have found from even the most unpleasant moments- that God is victorious
people come to know Him
I learn
I grow
even ten years later.
You see ten years ago I was on a mission trip to Kenya with a fabulous group of leaders and students.  





We were training students there and sharing the gospel for three weeks. It really was an amazing trip. And then there was today.
On this day ten years ago our team was attacked.  It was spiritual warfare as I had never experienced it. And I can tell you that in those moments I thought, "This is happening, I am going to die for the sake of the Gospel."
I am not into sharing the details here, because really it is not just my story to tell.  If you want to get in touch with me I wouldn't mind sharing with you more about what God taught me… but this is just not the place for details.

Upon our return to home, things were hard. Flashbacks happened and I got help with handling those things.  But for me each day got better.  Not that I never struggle with this incident, but I can honestly say I don't think about it everyday now.  And when I do, many times I think about it as if it were a story that were told to me… something that happened to someone else (all you psychology majors and counselors out there probably know the reason for this… probably to protect myself???). 

But this year coming up on the anniversary was different.  As I started to ponder the fact that it was TEN YEARS AGO, something hit me differently.  I started thinking about Paul's writings from Philippians 1  
For to me to live is Christ, and to die is gain.  If I am to live in the flesh, that means fruitful labor for me. Yet which I shall choose I cannot tell.  I am hard pressed between the two. My desire is to depart and be with Christ, for that is far better. But to remain in the flesh is more necessary on your account.  Convinced of this, I know that I will remain and continue with you all, for your progress and joy in the faith,  so that in me you may have ample cause to glory in Christ Jesus, because of my coming to you again. Philippians 1:21-26

For to me to live is Christ, and to die is gain.
In those moments ten years ago, if that had been the end of my time on earth, what a glorious celebration it would have been to be with Christ.  But that is not what happened- I was gifted with the other side- more life.  And as the verse says… to live is Christ.
This begs the question that has been on my mind for the last few days… with this gift of life have I been living with this mentality- that to live is Christ.
What have I done with my last ten years? 
How have I served?
How have I worshipped?
How have I reached my community and the world for Christ?
I am confident that God kept me here for a purpose and plan. And I can see how HE has used me.  And I don't know how much longer that plan is… but no matter what I want to live each and every day for Christ- His glory and to make Him known.  

And as I go through the next year, ten years, fifty years or one hundred years (okay not one hundred)- however many days are left for me on this earth, I want to live with a sense of urgency, and abandon for the sake of the Gospel.  

And that is my prayer for you as well.  That you will know Christ and live Philippians 1:21 
For to me to live is Christ, and to die is gain.
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17 comments:

  1. Thanks so much for posting. This is how we all should view our life..on mission for the gospel

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    1. Seriously!!! Sometimes I lose this perspective.. as I abide in the Lord moment by moment I will strive to keep it!

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  2. I remember that hard time. I didn't know it had been 10 years already. I remember praying for you and the team for peace and comfort. I'm glad you got help, and I'm thrilled as I look at you and your sweet family and know God is good.

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    1. Thank you Susan. It is amazing to see how God has taken care of us and used us through the years!

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  3. Bless your dear heart, Stasia. This sounds like a very difficult experience. I am so sorry you had to go through this, and I just wanted to say that this hard place you endured enabled you to write this, my favorite post of yours that I have ever read. It really encouraged and challenged me today. Thank you for sharing this...I do not know what it was that happened or what all you went through, but it certainly lent a lot of edification to this post. If you ever want to share with me what happened, I'd love to hear by email. :) God bless you and be with you during your delivery and the exciting days ahead!!

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    1. Thanks Cheryl. It is amazing how God uses some of the hardest things in our live's to grow us the most. I will share more via email in the near future (though it may come after baby at this point :))!!!

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  4. Wow! Thank you for sharing your story and journey to healing. God definitely has a plan and purpose for your life and sharing how God has worked in your life for his glory is testimony to that. I pray that we all live with an urgency to live our lives fully for Gods glory!

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    1. Thank you for your prayers and support!

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  5. Wow! Thank you for sharing your story and journey to healing. God definitely has a plan and purpose for your life and sharing how God has worked in your life for his glory is testimony to that. I pray that we all live with an urgency to live our lives fully for Gods glory!

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  6. Such a great way to heal and relish in life...even with the trauma of 10 years ago :)

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  7. I can't believe it has been 10 years sine that day. It feels like a lifetime ago.

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    1. I know! Ten years seems so long, but when I think about it it does feel like it happened a long time ago!

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  8. This was a post to touch the heart. So real, so heartfelt. Thank you for sharing it on Tuesday Talk.

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    1. Thank you Michelle! And thank you for opportunity to share at Tuesday Talk!

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  9. This is such a blessing to read some of your testimony. I know sometimes I loose focus. And the focus should always be on Christ Jesus. It's when Peter took his eyes off Christ he began to sink. I have felt myself sinking. Thanks for sharing this.

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  10. Amen! Spiritual warfare can be the toughest to face, but nothing can separate us from Christ : ) Glad you're living for Him alone -and that's He's sustained you for those beautiful babies, wonderful words you write, and sweet heart you share with others!

    Blessings from Thought Provoking Thursday!

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