Ten years ago...

Have you ever woke up in the morning an pondered what your life was like ten years ago?   Well, there is the stark realization that ten years ago I was 18… a freshly graduated high school senior… and about to start college. But there is more, I can remember ten years ago today. Because is this a day and a date of an experience I will never forget. There are days like this through out the year… I generally don't forget my birthday or our anniversary.  However, unlike those days this day brings back some of the most difficult memories of my life.  But I have found from even the most unpleasant moments- that God is victorious people come to know Him I learn I grow even ten years later. You see ten years ago I was on a mission trip to Kenya with a fabulous group of leaders and students.  

We were training students there and sharing the gospel for three weeks. It really was an amazing trip. And then there was today.

On this day ten years ago our team was attacked.  It was spiritual warfare as I had never experienced it. And I can tell you that in those moments I thought, "This is happening, I am going to die for the sake of the Gospel."

I am not into sharing the details here, because really it is not just my story to tell.  If you want to get in touch with me I wouldn't mind sharing with you more about what God taught me… but this is just not the place for details.

Upon our return to home, things were hard. Flashbacks happened and I got help with handling those things.  But for me each day got better.  Not that I never struggle with this incident, but I can honestly say I don't think about it everyday now.  And when I do, many times I think about it as if it were a story that were told to me… something that happened to someone else (all you psychology majors and counselors out there probably know the reason for this… probably to protect myself???). 

But this year coming up on the anniversary was different.  As I started to ponder the fact that it was TEN YEARS AGO, something hit me differently.  I started thinking about Paul's writings from Philippians 1  

For to me to live is Christ, and to die is gain.  If I am to live in the flesh, that means fruitful labor for me. Yet which I shall choose I cannot tell.  I am hard pressed between the two. My desire is to depart and be with Christ, for that is far better. But to remain in the flesh is more necessary on your account.  Convinced of this, I know that I will remain and continue with you all, for your progress and joy in the faith,  so that in me you may have ample cause to glory in Christ Jesus, because of my coming to you again. Philippians 1:21-26

For to me to live is Christ, and to die is gain.

In those moments ten years ago, if that had been the end of my time on earth, what a glorious celebration it would have been to be with Christ.  But that is not what happened- I was gifted with the other side- more life.  And as the verse says… to live is Christ.

This begs the question that has been on my mind for the last few days… with this gift of life have I been living with this mentality- that to live is Christ.

What have I done with my last ten years? 

How have I served?

How have I worshipped?

How have I reached my community and the world for Christ?

I am confident that God kept me here for a purpose and plan. And I can see how HE has used me.  And I don't know how much longer that plan is… but no matter what I want to live each and every day for Christ- His glory and to make Him known.  

And as I go through the next year, ten years, fifty years or one hundred years (okay not one hundred)- however many days are left for me on this earth, I want to live with a sense of urgency, and abandon for the sake of the Gospel.  

And that is my prayer for you as well.  That you will know Christ and live Philippians 1:21 

For to me to live is Christ, and to die is gain.