Six Goals for 2016...

I am usually come up with so many goals (like here). Seriously, I have made many a unattainable to do list.  But this year- just 6 things. And what does not fit into the 6 things? Well, I might just have to say no (gasp). Can't do it all, but what I do I want to do well:)!

All this to be said, my word for the year is FOCUS.
Focus on what matters, focus on what God is calling me to, and focus on what I actually can get done!

One

Continued growth in my relationship with God. This past year I read the book Women of the Word and really learned to study my Bible. I have studies Ruth, 1 John and Galations since then and I love the depth that I am learning scripture. I hope to contunue to study scripture with this depth.

I want work on praying continually and intentionally. With each breath and with each step.

Two 

I want to grow in my relationship with Andrew. My prayer is that this would continue to happen as we serve together, pray together, study together and just do life together. That our relationship would give a picture of Christ and the church.

Three

I want to soak in each moment with our precious kiddos and really disciple them! Not an easy task and not one I take lightly.  I want to really show them the Gospel and Grace day in and day out. 

Four

Self-care.  This sounds so selfish when I say it, but getting enough sleep, eating well, exercising and not stressing need to be priorities.  As I tell other mamas all the time, 

"You need to put your life mask on yourself first before you put it on your child."  

Can't help the littles or anyone else if you aren't taking care of yourself.  It is time I take my own advise.

Five

Ministry. Serving.  Particularly focusing on the College/20s ministry and preschool ministry at our church.  I know those seem like opposite… but I just really like both :).  

Six

We have had one car since I was 16, 12 years, and it has over 200,000  miles on it.  We have another that has over 175,000.  We would like to save cash to buy a car.  I will be working a couple of part time gigs this next year- some nannying and working in the preschool ministry at our church (get to take the kiddos with me for both:)).  Working these jobs and saving the money will be a priority!

Even though I limited myself to 6… this is still an intense list.  It is still a lot.

That being said… anyone notice something not on there?

The good old blog.  

I am not shutting it down.  I can't.  I just love it.  The writing that is…

Anyways, in times like this, when my cup runth over- something has to be at the bottom of the totem pole.  So the blog it is.

I will write, but maybe not as often.

So what about you?  Do you have a mile long to do list this year? Or just a few priorities?

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If you like this post you may like…

The Budgeting Diaries 

To the mom deciding between full-time work, part-time work and staying home…

Embracing the Teachable Twos

Helpful Tips for Engaging Conversation with Your Spouse

I start this post … we are not marriage experts!  So this is something we are just sorting through as well!!! :)

I was at small group with some women talking about how we make time and money for date nights with our husbands. And in the midst of the conversation one person candidly said, "Do you ever get on a date night or sit down to talk at night and have nothing to talk about?" And there was a resounding yes. 

I had heard this before.

To be honest Andrew and I have experienced this before.

But during this specific conversation Andrew and I were doing pretty well in the arena of conversation.  I asked myself why... it dawned on me- three things that had made a difference for us!

{one}

Serve Together

I stand by this as the best method because it not only gives you common ground- but serves others! Win win. Teach in the children's ministry, lead a high school small group, volunteer at a soup kitchen. When you are serving together you not only get to talk about the experience, but also talk about your vision for making a greater impact. Serving together leads to prayer together and is a great example to the kiddos. Our relationships aren't just about making googly eyes at each other- they are about discipleship and serving and making a difference.

{two}

Play Together

Pick a hobby that you both enjoy (not the one you have been wishing your partner would enjoy;)). Extra points if it involves some sort of activity like walking or playing tennis- staying healthy and investing in your relationship at the same time! 

{three}

Read/Study Together

Pick book or go through a Bible Study together. It can even be simply reading the same book of the Bible. Then just talk about it!!!

And the following pictures just for kicks... 

Circa 9 years ago when it was okay to wear a scarf with your formal wear?

What about you? Have any other suggestions?

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Guest Post: Part of the What I Wish I Knew Before I Got Married Series

I have said it before and I will say it again, one of the most wonderful things about blogging is the unique community you get to build with people!  
Just recently Christina over at Waltzing in Beauty asked some fellow bloggers to share what they wish they knew before they got married.  My post is over on her blog today… take a minute and check it out! :)

To the mom deciding between full-time work, part-time work and staying home… (or will make this decision one day)

When I say "to the mom"… I have come to realize every mom has to make this decision, whether they feel the need to pour over it or not.  And maybe it is not a hard decision for you…  *maybe you are a single mom and have no choice but to work to care for your family. *maybe you work, love your job, make tons of money and can't imagine doing anything else. *maybe all you have ever wanted to do was be a stay-at-home mom. *maybe you have a sweet part-time gig all lined up and already have the balance. But y'all, for me the struggle is real… and I would venture to say I think it is real for a lot of you moms, soon-to-be-moms and maybe-be-moms out there.  You see for me I am, by nature a work-a-holic.  I also struggle with getting my worth from what I do instead of Christ.  So I have always said, "I want to work and I enjoy it."  Then my next sentence would be, "I am willing to sacrifice to be a stay-at-home-mom."  Does anybody else see how these two statements don't really go together?    What else doesn't help.  Is judgement from other mama's out there… or even perceived judgement (sometimes I think we moms think other moms are judging us, but we are really just all trying to figure out this mom thing out!) When we moved two months after BD was born, I thought, maybe I would find a part-time preschool job, make a little money to help ends meet, and be at home with Bailey Drew part of the time.  I thought I wanted something that was a few hours a day, 2-3 days a week, but God provided a 5-day part-time job,  and I decided to try it.  Bailey Drew loved going to school, I enjoyed teaching working, ends were met.  It was the balance and I called myself a part-time stay at home mom.  I am honestly only realizing now how incredibly thankful I am for the position God provided and how perfect it was for our life at that point. Then, a couple weeks ago we moved.  And I had to make these decisions all over again.   We have moved twice since BD was born, so I have had to make this decision twice so far.  Each time hard, and each time has caused me to pour over our priorities, budget, and my heart in the matter. You see, this time, I decided to put my name out there for some full-time teaching gigs.  After a week or two of looking, I ended up taking a similar 5, 1/2 day preschool job.  As soon as I signed my contract for that job (we are talking an hour later), I got a text message and email from a principal to interview for a full-time position.  Two days later another principal contacts me.  These seem like amazing opportunities!  I was torn, bothered.  Did we jump the gun in taking this job?  Or did I jump the gun in assuming I should apply for full-time positions? Well… after evaluating and reevaluating my heart, I feel like the only reason I wanted a full time job was for the money.  Not a good enough reason, right?  I decided for me personally it was not worth the sacrifice at this point in my life.  Will it be different next year? In five years? In ten years? Probably.. and that is okay! :) Maybe you are making this decision today or you will have to make it one day.  Here are some things that helped me.

1.  Prayer… lots and lots of prayer.

Lifting this up to the Lord with my husband and by myself.  Sharing with with my closest friends and asking for their prayer!

2.  Time in the Word and Journalling 

Spending time with the Lord and in His Word is always a necessity… it guides our attitude and decision making everyday!

3. Wise Council 

We talked to our parents and close friends.  One thing that Andrew's dad said to me was, "Stasia, you always said you did not want to work full time when y'all have small children, what has made that change now?"  Whew… what a question, really made me revaluate our situation!

4. Good-old Pro and Cons lists

When I made a pro and con list for this decision, the only things on the pro list for working were 1) money and 2) adding to my retirement years.  Not enough to take the leap.

5.  Trusting that no matter the final decision-God is Faithful

Whether making the decision to stay home full time, work full time, or something in between- trust God He always provides in His time!

Have you had to make this decision?  Was is easy or hard?  How have you seen God be faithful through it?

Planning a wedding on a budget {part 2}

Soooo… if you missed part one… you can find it here! The first post was overarching tips… while this one is about the details.  That being said, if one of these things is a priority to you, don't cut it.  I am just telling you some ways that you CAN make cuts if you want.

Wedding Dress

Buy a reasonably priced or used wedding dress, or rent a dress.   I am not a fashionista, so personally, I am not going to notice too much if you spent in the hundreds, thousands, or even ten thousands.  Every time I watch Say Yes to the Dress and see someone shelling out big bucks for a dress, it makes me ill.  How many real needs could we meet with that money?   Also, did you know you can make your veil?  The veil I wanted with my dress was $300.  I bought a comb and some tulle (and friends I am not crafty) and my mama and I made it… for around $15.   Afterwords, if you bought a dress… sell it.  So someone is going to yell at me for this one… but how many of you women out there wore your mother's wedding dress?  I would venture to say not too many.  Your mama's dress is probably still preserved in her closet waiting for…??? If you want something to pass down, think smaller scale- jewelry, hairpiece,  veil and the like.

Food and Beverages

I would say just do finger foods… but sometimes that can be just as expensive as a meal.  I have had friends do desserts and I thought that was perfectly fine.  If you are serving a meal, keep to safe (read inexpensive foods that everyone likes) and simple foods.  One way to really save money in this category is to cut the alcohol.  Some people are going to yell at me for this one and some will praise me… but for us, we weren't planing on drinking and did not see it as a necessary part of our day.  And as far as I know, our guests still had fun.  If you don't have a cash bar you can save some serious money- like $30-$50 a person (that is about what it cost through our caterer 5 years ago).

Vendors

Go out on a limb and try some new vendors.  How new just depends on how much of a risk you want to take.  I told y'all in the last post how we went with someone who was starting their own cake business.  In that situation we had tried and seen the cake, so it was an easy decision.  Another instance that we went with a new business was our photography.  A couple we knew from college had just started their business.  We had seen enough pictures to know they were good.  This is actually the first thing we booked (before we even had a venue!), and I am glad we did, because their first price increase happened the weekend after we met with them!  By the way they are still fabulous if you are wanting to splurge on photography.

Guest List

Keep the guest list down… keep your costs down.  This is some advise I did not follow myself… we had 300+ at our wedding.  Since food drink and venue are such huge portions of your budget, the less people the less it costs.  If I could have kept it to 100-200 the savings would have been huge.  Maybe you can learn from me and save :)

Ceremony and Reception

Find a place that is already pretty for your ceremony and don't decorate too much.  Use the decorations from the ceremony at the reception too.  Personally, I think less is more when it comes to decor… keep it simple.  When looking for reception cites, make sure to ask about bringing your own caterer and cake cutting fees.  You had to get the food from our reception site, but there was not rental fee, just a food and beverage minimum- which was a pretty good deal for us since we has so many guests.  

Flowers

I mentioned this in the last post, but flowers just were not that important to us.  I just met with the florist with a set budget, the details of our wedding, things I liked and things I did not like.  She stayed in budget… I did not have to do that much work.  Also, with the flowers, if you have a particular favorite be carful if it is out of season, it will be expensive.  I came with color and some flower preferences, but mainly let her choose based on what flowers were in season. We also used our bridemaid's bouquets on some of the tables and my bouquet on the cake table. Also I have heard going wholesale on the flowers is a great deal.

Get Off of Pinterest

There was no pressure when I got married, because there was no Pinterest.  I am not saying don't use it at all, because it can be a great tool.  What I am saying is that not all of those pictures are from real weddings, your don't have to micromanage every detail and even DIY projects get expensive.  Keep it simple (have I said simple enough yet?).

Get Flexible with Your Vision

You don't have to give up all your girlhood wedding dreams… but you may have to give up a few and that is okay.  I always envisioned a summer wedding in one of those old houses… you know the ones I am talking about.  But winter just worked for our timing (and budget) and those houses don't hold a ton of people.  So much of what I thought my wedding would look like changed, but it was still beautiful and I still loved it!

Ultimately, Andrew and I focused on the fact that at the end of the day we would be married.  We memorized Colossians 3:1-4 in the midst of wedding consumerism.

Since, then, you have been raised with Christ, set your hearts on things above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God.  Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things. For you died, and your life is now hidden with Christ in God. When Christ, who is your life, appears, then you also will appear with him in glory.

What did I miss other suggestions for keeping a wedding on budget???

A Birthday (and graduation) Party...

So it was Andrew's Birthday this past weekend.  We celebrated by eating mexican, desserts and having a game night. I made these delicious strawberry cupcakes.  The recipe can be found here.  I used regular flour and regular milk (I am just not that fancy) and they turned out great.  I don't usually care for strawberry cake… but LOVED this!  I think it was the almond extract and the REAL strawberries.

Andrew got to wear a somber… it was pretty cool...

Then a couple of stunt decided to shove sour cream or maybe it was sip cream in his face… it was amazing! :)

I decided to add a little extra celebration for his graduation from seminary… a year ago.  See, because of some circumstances only BD and I were able to attend Andrew's graduation.  

Somehow I juggled this little bundle through the long graduation ceremony...

I think the only pic I got of Andrew during the ceremony… I had no free hands :(

Here are some of the fun things to celebrate graduation… they are a little silly I know! :)

The lost years: wishing I had started blogging sooner

I love blogging. It has turned into a side hobby for me and it is exciting to really begin to see his blog grow!  I have high hopes and goals for the future in growth… but even if I never reach those, I would continue to blog anyways.  Why?  It is the documentation of our life.  I can look back and see picture and thoughts from different stages over the last couple of years.   As I read others blogs, I often get a little sad… many have documentation of single years and documentation of the earliest years of their marriage.  Those B.B. days (before babies).  I really didn't start blogging until we lost our first child through a miscarriage.  I think it was therapeutic, the writing, the sharing, the connecting.  Then I just kept doing it.

So have you thought about doing it?  Blogging?  I  *REALLY* recommend it.  And start now… you don't have to wait to get to the "next stage."  Just start to share… I think you will be glad you did!:)

65 in 365 update

Almost 2 months through the year… and here we are! Home

1. Fix Nursery Canvas and Decor 2. Learn to Make Natural Cleaning Supplies 3. Clean out and organize stockpile  4. Some how display the places we have lived 5. Some how display the places we have visited 6. Have an organized move this summer (because we will probably move this summer) 7. Set up new home (because we will probably move someplace new this summer)

Blogger

8. Learn how to put hovering pintrest buttons on my pictures 9. Learn how to do my own graphics and design 10. Start Facebook page see Facebook page here 11. Reach 100 followers 12. Update everything on the blog… about me, pic, etc. (mainly to include BD)

Business/Money Making

13. Go through all our clothes… sell what we don't use  14. Have a garage sale- scheduled for March 8th 15. Go through books and DVDs… sell what we don't use 16. Get my Ebay shop really going 17. Research/Become cloth diaper consultant see my shop here!:)

18. Research/Become car seat technician  - researched and went with the cloth diaper consultant… felt like I would enjoy that more… but if you want to learn about how to make sure your child is as safe as possible in the car check out this FB group- Car Seats for the Littles!

Personal

19. Read Allegiant- Can we please talk about how I have been on the waiting list for this book since September… really September! And I finally got to read it! 20-24. Read 5 other books just for fun * The Fault in Our Stars by John Green *Call the Midwife by Jennifer Worth * Seven: A Mutany on Excess by Jen Hatmaker 25. Have silent time… to just be  this is continual… but it is happening most days :) 26. Run 2nd half marathon- beat first time- February 23rd! 27. Memorize at least a verse of scripture a week 28. Read through the whole Bible 29. Read through Acts in depth 30. Publish an ebook (probably a lofty goal… but I am going to shoot for the moon!) 31. Learn to bake cakes/cupcakes- working on this for BD's bday! 32. Become a better cook- working on this… kind of anyway :)

Family 33. Organize and back up all pictures 34-38. Photo album year 1-5 of marriage 39. Work on some family traditions 40. Have a picnic 41. Create online address book 42. Go through Bible for Kids together each night- continual… but it is happening most days :)  BD

43. Make family picture book- Want to get this done before BD's birthday! 44. Make a map of the missionaries we know/are praying for 45. Plan and put on an awesome 1st birthday for BD- on a budget!-  working on this! 46. Write weekly in BD prayer journal- working on this! 47.  Research "homeschool" toddler activities and plans

Marriage

48. Go on at least 1 "real" date a month- continual… but it is happening most months :) 49. Breakfast/Coffee/Cheap/Free Dates 1 time a week- continual… but it is happening weeks :) 50. Have one getaway weekend Not sure if it counts if we bring BD, but since I am still her food source we will count it…  weekend in Hilton Head… so fun and relaxing

51. Complete Shepherding a Child's Heart -It only took us almost a year 52. Complete Grace Based Parenting 53. Complete Give them Grace

Adventures/For Fun

54. Go on a girls trip 55. Christmas Cookie Party 56. Go to NOLA  so fun… check out our trip here and here 57. Visit Grandparents in Annapolis 58. Visit Grandparents in Florida (possible Disney trip while there?) This is happening right now… here are some pictures so far!

59. Visit PeePaw in Alabama - Last weekend and we had so much fun for his 87th birthday! 60. Go to a UGA game

Others

61. Sponsor a child 62. Surprise someone with something wonderful 63. Donate as much as we spend at Christmas time (or more) to missions 64. Find a way to continually serve our local community 65. Help fund an adoption- Working on this